JonStarbuck.co.uk

Some toast yesterday

[For immediate release - 29th November 2009]

A new Better Butter has been developed by Jon Starbuck, a British inventor, published author and entrepreneur.

Jon claims that this new Better Butter, when applied to toast, improves the toast’s “fill factor” by up to 10% (when compared to ordinary butter on toast) and yet contains no perceivable extra calories.

“This helps bridge the hunger gap”, said Mr. Starbuck, “between late-morning and lunch while eating 10% less breakfast”.

How it works
Better Butter works by fooling your body into thinking you have eaten 10% more toast that you actually have, so you need 10%  less breakfast in order to make it through to lunch.

Recession Busting, Slim & Green!
This 10% reduction in toast consumed not only saves the coustomer money and enables them to loose weight, but is also an example of renewable energy because it helps the environment by reducing the amount of toast consumed  and thus reduces the carbon emissions associated with the growing, manufacturing and distribution of toasting loafs.

The KIC - £20,000 given away to any old horse shit every year.

Testimonials
Testimonials include two or three people who claim to have been helped by Better Butter to loose some of their unsightly flabby bits.

Mr. Starbuck said “These testimonials prove beyond doubt that my Better Butter really can save your pocket, your waist-line and the planet, all at the same time!”

Sceptics “shot down” by science
In response to critics Mr. Starbuck said, “Scientists? What do they know? Anyone who doubts in Better Butter’s validity has never tested it in the real world, they clearly do not understand the dairyquantumsprocket and they have not understood any of the obscure articles published by NASA in the 1970s about milk and eggs”.

University Endorsed
The University Of Kent at Canterbury inadvertently endorsed the product when an unnamed undergraduate UKC Biosciences student proposed a researched-based thesis topic, involving Better Butter, to his supervisor.

News & Media Endorsed
Several national and international newspapers and TV stations also inadvertently endorsed Better Butter when reporters, without thinking and desperate to fill column inches, regurgitated this press release verbatim.

Kent Innovation Challenge 2009
Following the 2008 Kent Innovation Challenge being awarded to Oil Can Limited, Better Butter is clearly the obvious choice to win “Kent Innovation Challenge 2010“.

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